Saturday, February 26, 2005
[~c.h0!r*~]...... stress ... some people just don't understand ... enough of shouting ... enough of being who i'm not ... no point getting angry ... there's no difference anyway ... everytime there's choir ... i have to be someone i'm totally not ... all for what ? ... i don't even need to go to hawaii ... have my A1 ... there was no need for me to spend $2000+ ... but why did i do it ? ... it's all for choir ... all for the juniors ... and what do i get ... a whole bunch of people who don't understand ... all giving attitude ... don't you get it ? ... life ... it's not whether you like it or not ... sometimes when you don't like it ... you still have to do it ... i don't like shouting ... screaming ... but ... i have to do it ... everytime you guys talk ... you can't stop ... we tried not shouting at you ... but you all complained... and didn't do things seriously ... the comm ... we don't know what to do anymore ... this is the last resort ... k ... i feel like crying everytime ... but a leader should never show her weak side lest the others take advantage of it ... so what i'll do ... i'll just keep quiet ...
i really do not know what you guys want ... do you know it's less than 20 days already ... the comm ... one by one are all going to breakdown soon ... the comm has a lot of expectations to meet ... there's ms tham's expectations ... mrs low's and mrs seah's ... we're trying to help you ... but ... we really don't know what to do now ... feel like giving up ... and i have do the shit job of shouting at you guys ... not that i enjoy it ... i seriously don't ... there's no more time ... mrs low asked the comm ... she asked one person in comm to do all the shouting and all at the choir ... no one wanted to do it ... i didn't want to do it ... but nobody wanted to do it ... and in the end ... i had to do it ...
week in week out ... we tell you guys what you have to do for what score ... but everyweek ... you forget what happened the previous week and do the same mistake ... i mean put yourself in our shoes ... everyweeek you have to correct and do the same thing over and over again ... everyweek you have to shout at the choir the same things ... do you how tiring and emotionally and mentally agonising it is ? ... and now ... i know ... i know there are people saying things about me ... all for what ? what's the point ? getting or having people bitch about me just because i was trying my best to do what should be done ... i'm tired ... i don't know if i have the strength anymore ... enough ...
i don't know what to do anymore ... not even sure if we can get a gold ... i don't know ... i don't know ...
posted at 2/26/2005 07:04:00 pm
